Two steps forward, one step back

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Everyone who writes about premature parenting says that the final days/weeks of the NICU journey are the hardest. It's easier to deal with your baby being in the hospital when they're tiny, red, wrinkled, alien-looking, and relying on machines to help them breathe. But when they start looking up … [Continue reading]

Nesting

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When I woke up this morning I got a huge burst of energy and went around the house cleaning, decluttering and organizing. My 9 year old and I tackled the little girls' room. I organized Josiah's dresser and clothes and my own dresser. I decluttered my closet, organized the junk drawer (those … [Continue reading]

Breather

I walked into the NICU a few days ago and saw that Josiah was no longer on CPAP, but had a tiny, thin nasal cannula giving him a bit of breathing … [Continue reading]

Over it

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I hate this place. I hate how dark it is inside. I hate the beeps and blips and alarms. I hate the wires. I hate the plastic and the smell of … [Continue reading]

Fragile flower

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Two days ago a new preemie was wheeled into the NICU. This happens all the time when I'm there. The nurses, doctor and respiratory therapist all hover … [Continue reading]

One Month

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Today was a good day, the best I've had in I'm not sure when. Josiah is a month old today, and for the first time, I am no longer drowning in fear … [Continue reading]

Alarmed

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Josiah, Today my heart broke all over again. I didn't realize until the other day how vulnerable I feel all the time now. It started with your … [Continue reading]

Heart shaped box

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Figuratively speaking. A fellow mom of a preemie tweeted a picture of her┬áson's isolette with the caption, "My heart was trapped in this box for 8 … [Continue reading]

Complicated attacks

I try very hard to keep my life simple. Minimalists inspire me. I read this article recently about Mark Zuckerberg (yes, that Mark Zuckerberg) where … [Continue reading]

and your angry eyes, just in case

My therapist told me I was experiencing grief. Well, I'm officially in the anger phase. Because I am so mad little one. I don't know what to do with … [Continue reading]